2011 snuck right into my life during a huge transition. It was welcomed with open arms because everyone was telling me, "This is gonna be your year (2011)," but at the same time, I had very little expectation that it was going to be fantastic! I am skeptical; well didn't your mama ever tell you to never believe everything you hear. All I knew was that I had a lot of work ahead of me, and I did not have a crystal ball.
Six days into the new year, I spent the transition between Chili's to the movies theater having the worlds biggest melt down in the passenger seat of my friend's car. A tumultuous start to what was promised to be "my year." Up until this point, I had mumbled or thought up a 1 million, "It's not fair"s and questioned why I did not "deserve" the same things that people were handed to them. I was temporarily eased as I watched Mark Walhberg sans shirt while eating nachos and cheese per my friend's tab. Yeah, I was in a bit of a "slump," but I was quickly forced to be catapulted out.
In Febrary, I literally went from swimming with dolphins to sliding down the highest steepest water slide into suburban middle school. I uttered, "No, the baby does not come out of your pee whole" more times than I could have ever imagined that I would have to. My new job kinda rotted but it gave me let's say...swagger. Maybe I wasn't so bad. I got "the call" and came back...to my "work-home?" I fought for a job and promised things that were a bit out of my league but was left to keep my end of the deal. The biggest thing...people believed in me. I signed a contract or two and handed over the mother of all checks to get "the denominator" which has left me dependent on Stop and Shop gas points. I studied entropy, enthalpy, nuclear chemistry and REDOX reactions until my brain just about combusted; Chemistry may just prove to be my savior-- cut, cut, cut. Maybe miracles do exist; not once but twice. Or maybe it truly is, "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard."
I learned that the person that you least expect can be a phony, lying, back stabbing bitch. But at the same time, I learned that the people you least expect can care for you the most and you find that out when you need to hear it the most. The best of friends do not always come from time known but maybe with things understood- thanks for passing the trash can.Sometimes, the world does not make sense, and it is not worth your time and energy to figure it out. Out with the old and in with the new.
During 2011, it has been confirmed that I am a lot smarter and stronger than many people including myself ever thought. There is no greater feeling than realizing that. I have learned that you can only do your best...and that has to be good enough. There is such a thing as "only being human." I have met some and gotten to many people who just enrich my life and inspire me everyday. I have found it easier to tell people to f*ck off and it has become a little harder, to say love you, but it means more when I do say it.
I had things given to me, taken away and then given right back with a lot of hard work and fml's.
My journey through 2011 began with the a quiet news years eve of 2010 spent with friends, and it ended one year to the day with me standing, and sometimes sitting, smack dab in the middle of the cross roads of the world with 1.5 million people waiting with abated breath for the moment that everyone around the world waits to happen- ring in the new year and say good riddance to the last. So good bye 2011; you showed me the way. I finally feel like I have control of my own destiny. For the first time in a very long time, I can say that I have a lot of good things waiting in 2012 because I have the power to make them happen.
